Firestarter (15): A damp squib that never ignites.

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A One Mann’s Movies review of “Firestarter” (2022).

One of the advantages of a holiday flight to Australia is that you can get to catch up on a selection of movies that you missed at the cinema. “Firestarter” was one, though to be honest, I didn’t miss much. For this is a rather poor effort from the normally reliable Blumhouse horror stable.

Bob the Movie Man Rating(s):

Plot Summary:

Andy (Zac Efron) and Vicky (Sydney Lemmon) were subject to genetic experiments by a US agency in their teens giving them special powers. Now a couple, the McGee’s have a daughter, Charlie (Ryan Kiera Armstrong) who, for obvious reasons, they want to keep hidden from the authorities.

Certification:

UK: 15; US: R.

Talent:

Starring: Zac Efron, Ryan Kiera Armstrong, Sydney Lemmon, Michael Greyeyes, Gloria Reuben.

Directed by: Keith Thomas.

Written by: Scott Teems, based on the book by Stephen King.

Twitter Handles: #Firestartermov.

Cat lovers should best avoid. (Source: Universal Pictures).

“Firestarter” Review:

Positives:

  • The opening ‘nursery’ scene is very effective and incorrectly set my expectations for the film!
  • I doubt Zac Efron will ever be up for a Best Actor nomination, but he does pretty well here with what he’s given. The young Armstrong girl also does well and that “look” during the fire-starting activity (and indeed on the poster) is the best thing in the film.

Negatives

  • It’s going some to make a dull film from a Stephen King novel, but this somehow manages it. The film plods along in pedestrian style and even highly dramatic scenes (for which the daughter will need a lifetime of counselling) failed to either excite or move me. And the finale! A genuine “IS THAT IT?” moment as the titles rolled.
  • Some of the dialogue here is atrocious in a mansplaining sort of way. In particular, exchanges between ‘bad CIA person’ Captain Hollister (Gloria Reuben) and dodgy scientist Dr Wanless (Kurtwood Smith) sound like a bad Austin Powers parody and had me rolling my eyes.

Trigger Warning

Cat lovers might want to give this one a miss.

Summary Thoughts on “Firestarter”:

Lame, shallow and unthrilling action horror. It’s pretty amazing that this (just) made its $12m budget back. I think they have a lot to thank Ms. Armstrong and that poster for.

Trailer for “Firestarter”:

The trailer is here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7VWgM_SKkrY .