A One Mann’s Movies review of “Scary Movie”. (2026, 0.5*, 15).
Also known as: Scary Movie 6.
So, I pride myself that once I start a movie in the cinema I will stick with it to the end. And – unlike a number of people in my screening – I did stick with this one. But – boy oh boy – I was seriously tempted to bail during this shit-fest of a parody movie.
For this has achieved the unthinkable. “Scary Movie” has managed to grab the premium spot of my worst movie of the year so far: and this in a year that I’ve seen “Greenland 2” and “Melania“! In fact, I would need to go back through my archives, but I’m not sure any film I’ve ever reviewed has ever failed to dredge at least 1 star. This is history in the making folks. For I absolutely despised this film.
One Mann’s Movies Rating:
Plot:
When Ghostface returns to Woodsville, the terror returns to haunt Cindy (Anna Faris) and her friends.
Certification:
UK: 15; US: R. (From the BBFC website: “Strong language, sex references, drug misuse, violence, nudity.”)
Talent:
Starring: Marlon Wayans, Shawn Wayans, Anna Faris, Regina Hall, Teyana Taylor, Kenan Thompson, Dave Sheridan, Lochlyn Munro, Carmen Electra, Kim Wayans, Cheri Oteri, Chris Elliott, Damon Wayans Jr.,
Heidi Gardner, Olivia Rose Keegan, Cameron Scott Roberts, Savannah Lee Nassif.
Directed by: Michael Tiddes.
Written by: Marlon Wayans, Shawn Wayans, Keenen Ivory Wayans, Craig Wayans & Rick Alvarez.
Running Time: 1h 36m.
Review:
Positives:
- I smiled – note, no laughed – smiled. Twice. The Final Destination theme park. And ‘Woke Watts’ charging station. The different variants of Ghostface masks was also occasionally amusing. But that was it.
- I guess I should give them a tiny (tiny) bit of credit by rebooting the film as “Scary Movie” instead of “Scary Movie 6”, aping what “Scream” did. (But they even got that wrong…. the rebooted “Scream” was “Scream 5″…. “Scream 6“.
Negatives:
- I know comedy is in the eye of the beholder. But, seriously, this is just SO dire. The Wayans – co-writers of the original “Scary Movie” and “Scary Movie 2” (but less involved in the subsequent films) – are back in the writing chair. But all they can come up with are a huge number of – for me – pretty impenetrable black n**** jokes; a whole load of cock jokes; a bit of cunnilingus thrown in and an endless scattergun stream of parody sequences. These are thrown at the wall with a bazooka to see which, if any, stick. (The answer is, virtually none.) Some of these – a skit on “Sinners” set in a church – is so unfunny as to defy description. And they bear no relation to the ‘plot’ (as it is) whatsoever.
- Other films parodied are so old that the teenage audience – who I assume are the majority target for this drivel – were probably in first grade when they came out and so possibly have never even seen them. (Case in point: an extended sequence on “Get Out” which is getting on for 10 years old!)
- None of the acting is worth mentioning. Why oh why oh why did Teyana Taylor sully herself with taking this role in a pre-title New York sequence?
Monkeys?
My good friend and “Flickering Dreams” colleague the Reverend Andy Godfrey has advised me that there are mid-credit and end-credit ‘monkeys‘. Frankly, I was too pissed off with the film to bother to stay to check, which is unusual for me. This says it all.
Summary Thoughts:
Some people in the audience behind me were laughing at some bits of this. I have absolutely no idea why. There are returning cast from the original films, so perhaps there is some nostalgia value for them in this. But my strong advise to you, dear reader, is to AVOID, AVOID, AVOID!
Where to watch?
Trailer:
The trailer for the film is here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LDGuRd4ScjI.
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