A One Mann’s Movies review of “Honey Don’t” (2025, 1.5*, 15).
I saw someone cruelly, but perhaps not wholly inaccurately, comment on social media today that “it looks like Joel’s the brains”. For “Honey Don’t” is yet another brand-damaging offering for the Coen’s. Once again Ethan Coen is on his own in the directing chair, filming a screenplay co-penned with his (declaredly queer) wife Tricia Cooke. This was the same team that delivered us last year’s equally disappointing “Drive Away Dolls“.
Here again, the premise delivered much and the trailer looked promising. But the film fundamentally fails to deliver on that promise.
One Mann’s Movies Rating:
Plot:
Honey O’Donahue (Margaret Qualley) is a lesbian Private Investigator in a small-town in California whose series of dead clients leads her to suspect the local Reverend Drew Devlin (Chris Evans) at a local evangelist church.
Certification:
UK: 15; US: R. (From the BBFC web site: “Strong sex, sex references, violence, injury detail, very strong language”. I personally think that this film is VERY lucky to escape an ’18’ certificate. At what point does “strong sex” become “porn” for the BBFC, given that this film features both sex toys and public sex? As Mark Kermode is oft known to say, “Kids of 15… they don’t know they’re born these days”!
Talent:
Starring: Margaret Qualley, Aubrey Plaza, Chris Evans, Lera Abova, Jacnier, Gabby Beans, Talia Ryder, Charlie Day, Kale Browne.
Directed by: Ethan Coen.
Written by: Ethan Coen & Tricia Cooke.
Running Time: 1h 29m.
Summary:
Positives:
- The premise – a good looking and laconic lesbian PI – is great.
- Some of the scenes really work well, in isolation.
Negatives:
- The story is all over the place with a randomly stupid finale that just made me cross.
- It’s a series of random scenes of sex and violence loosely linked together.
- I’m no prude and generally a fan of good sex in films… but much of this is just sex for titillation alone.
Full Review of “Honey Don’t”:
Margaret Qualley as a laconic, queer, PI… count me in.
The premise for this film had everything going for it. It’s got the excellent Margaret Qualley, wise-cracking her way through a noirish thriller; having a teasing relationship with the homicide detective of the local police force, Metakawich (Charlie Day); and rekindling a troubled relationship with her abusive father (Kale Browne). It has the equally excellent Aubrey Plaza as MG Falcone, a queer police officer with a magnetic attraction to Honey. It has a fun set of supporting characters including Honey’s exasperated office manager Spider (Gabby Beans); a hapless Puerto-Rican delivery boy caught up in events well above his pay-grade; and a minister (Chris Evans) that sees bedding his young acolytes as (conveniently) their way to the true light.
With all of this potential, how can Ethan Coen and Tricia Cooke f*** it up so magnificently?
A script that deserves a Golden Raspberry.
Because f*** it up they do. The script is just a series of titillating sexual and ultra-violent encounters that only subliminally link to the ‘plot’.
Coen and Cooke fill in any available gaps in the violent story with sex. There are many scenes of Evan’s preacher banging his female flock, sometimes singularly and sometimes in pairs, with the adoring looks of some even younger members of the congregation only hinting at where the film might had gone without at least some restraint. Or there’s Honey and MG getting it on, either fingering each other in a public bar or having vigorous sex in Honey’s bed before washing off the sex toys used in the basin. I mean, ugh… it’s just all so cheap and tawdry.
A story with multiple holes.
Many aspects of this plot don’t ultimately seem to make any sense: for example, you assume the person who turns up after a car crash in the opening scenes (and then, of course, swims fully nude afterwards because… well… this film really can’t get enough shots of nudity) is related to that event, given what she does. But as it turns out, no… not at all. Like, WTF?
Worst of all, a final reel ‘twist’ comes so far out of left field that it isn’t even a ‘twist’ at all. It’s just plain stupid and made me cross that I’d wasted two hours of my life on this rubbish.
Finally, a coda prior to the end titles involving Honey and the French woman Chère (Lera Abova) – she of the unnecessary nude swimming – is bonkers in the context of the rest of the film. Sigh.
Which is all very frustrating.
It’s really frustrating that the film falters so badly. Bits of the film are well done and engaging. A scene where young Hector (Jacnier) is bringing in washing while his spidey-senses tingle is clever and suspenseful. The cinematography, by the great Ari Wegner, is sharp and smart. Even the opening titles, with the cast and crew names overlaid on buildings as Honey drives past, is clever.
Summary Thoughts:
The film – which opens in the UK on Friday, September 5th, really sets itself up for this. But my pithy summary for this film is:
“Honey, Don’t Bother.”
Where to watch?
Trailer:
The trailer is here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jzr6pHIZAI0.
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