A One Mann’s Movies review of “If I Had Legs I’d Kick You”. (2026, 4*, 15).
My odyssey to try to watch all of the available Oscar films is perhaps not going to be completed this year (I should have started earlier!), but there have been two notable omissions in my completion of what I would class to be the ‘main’ categories: Rose Byrne’s Best Actress-nominated performance in “If I Had Legs I’d Kick You” and the only film I haven’t yet seen in the International Category, “The Voice of Hind Rajab”. I got to see the former yesterday and the latter has just popped up on Apple TV+, so I should be able to watch it before the weekend… hoorah!
But this A24 film shows why Rose Byrne has been tagged as the only credible competition to Jessie Buckley for “Hamnet“. For she IS simply brilliant in what I thought was a really interesting, gritty and thought-provoking film. Delving as it does into the mental challenges of a mother dealing with young children and the stresses of family life, this feels very much like a companion piece to last year’s Amy Adams feature “Nightbitch“…. but with less comedy and less dog tails!
One Mann’s Movies Rating:
Plot:
Linda (Rose Byrne) is under enormous pressure due to her daughter (Delaney Quinn) having a severe eating disorder. With her husband (Christian Slater) away working for 8 weeks, a ceiling collapse in her rented accommodation pushes her towards the edge as she is forced to move into a seedy motel and her mental health spirals.
Certification:
UK: 15; US: R. (From the BBFC website: “Mental health theme, strong language, suicide references”.)
Talent:
Starring: Rose Byrne, Conan O’Brien, Danielle Macdonald, Delaney Quinn, Mary Bronstein, A$AP Rocky, Ivy Wolk, Christian Slater, Mark Stolzenberg.
Directed by: Mary Bronstein.
Written by: Mary Bronstein.
Running Time: 1h 53m.
Summary:
Positives:
- Rose Byrne: on-screen for just about every minute of this film and delivering an astoundingly powerful performance.
- The unlikely casting of talk-show host (and upcoming Oscar host!) Conan O’Brien also works really well. A$AP Rocky also impresses.
- The plot blends a toxic mix of drink- and drug-induced paranoia together with events that anyone would find stressful to really make this an uncomfortable watch.
Negatives:
- The title is annoyingly tangential.
Full Review:
Rose Byrne giving Buckley a run for her money.
Having been a full-on advocate for Jessie Buckley since I first saw “Hamnet” back at the LFF in October, I’m not going to change my support and I think it likely, given her string of back-to-back wins, that the Academy will give her the Oscar on Sunday. But, man oh man, does Rose Byrne give me pause.
Byrne has been in a wide variety of different films including horror (“28 Weeks Later“; “Insidious: The Red Door“) , but I most associated her with fluffier light-hearted fare like “Peter Rabbit“, “Instant Family” and “Bridesmaids”, given how naturally comedic she is. So it comes as a bit of a surprise to see JUST HOW GOOD she is in this heavyweight emotional drama.
Because, from the word go with a tearful close up of Linda’s face in a therapy session, she delivers a really astounding performance.
Providing more fuel to my prejudice.
Acting as her shrink in this case is Conan O’Brien’s character (it’s an irritation in the film that many of these characters don’t have names). But yes… THAT Conan O’Brien. In a very straight, non-comedic role he is an interesting casting choice but one that really works well.
The interesting twist is that Linda is ALSO a therapist, having an office just down the hall from ‘Conan’. Unfortunately, that just plays to a perception I have that the psychiatric community seems to be heavily populated by people in need of their own services.
Also worthy of note, as another piece of left-field casting in the film, is the New York rap star A$AP Rocky who, apart from a small role in “Zoolander 2“, has done hardly any film roles. But he brings a natural charisma to the role and really should do more movies. He’s a star in the making!
A spiral into hell.
We’ve all been through periods in our lives where something bad happens and then it’s as if God says “fuck Karma” and piles one bad thing after another on the situation to create a spiralling mountain of stress.
That’s what we find here for Linda: aside from the ceiling collapse, flooding and polluting her house: her daughter’s doctor (Dr Spring, the film’s director Mary Bronstein) is demanding an unachievable weight-gain within the week (else there will be consequences); Spring is demanding Linda attends a mother’s group that she neither has desire nor time to go to; her husband is away and worse than useless at the end of the phone; and her own patients, especially new-mum Caroline (Danielle Macdonald), are driving her to distraction. It’s enough to make her turn to drink and drugs… and she does.
All of this is done in a slightly surreal ‘Donny Darko’ kind of way, where the hole in her ceiling becomes a terrifying portal into something other-worldly. This is helped by a non-traditional ‘music score’ (which curiously doesn’t seem to have been composed by anyone!) that uses “deliberate sound design and soundscapes to create atmosphere and tension, similar to the approach in Eraserhead”.
A constantly inward focus.
Another notable feature of the film is the way in which our entire attention is on Linda and her emotions, often in extreme close-up. The director seems to almost begrudge taking the camera out of Byrne’s face, to focus on other characters. To emphasise this, the daughter (Delaney Quinn) is barely seen in the film at all: a spectral presence, heard but seldom glimpsed. Ditto with her husband (Christian Slater), who for most of the film is just a disembodied voice on the phone but who eventually does turn up in white navy garb like Kevin Costner in “No Way Out”!
What’s with the title?
One of the most annoying things for me about this film was the title. Apparently (from the LA Times):
The title If I Had Legs I’d Kick You comes from writer/director Mary Bronstein, who was inspired by a quote in Adrienne Rich’s book Of Woman Born. The phrase reflects the intense, “full-bodied” exhaustion and existential terror of caring for a sick child, where the mother feels so drained she is disappearing.
I mean, that’s all very well, but if you have no idea about the quote (which doesn’t seem terrible on point to the topic imho) then the title becomes completely tangential to the film.
Triggers.
It goes without saying that there is a strong theme of mental health running through the film that might be triggering to some viewers. Note also that there is a reference to abortion in the film.
Summary Thoughts:
A fine film with an incredible acting performance at its heart. Having heard some mixed things about this film in advance, I was going along to see the acting performance, but I thought the film was as good as she was in it. One of the year’s more interesting offerings.
Where to watch?
Trailer:
The trailer for the film is here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ywFDoT7LBbQ.
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